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A 5 Step Anger Management Plan for
Children
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| By Michael Grose |
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"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing
annoys them so much."
Oscar Wilde
Managing anger is the biggest emotional
issue that most children face. Children
who can learn to manage their anger have
a head start on handling fears and other
emotions.
Currently, our community is undecided about
how to handle anger. In fact, anger is discouraged
as we see no place for it in homes, schools
or community. 'Civilized people don't get
angry' seems to be the accepted wisdom so
we tend to encourage children to bottle
up anger rather than let it out.
There are four ways anger is dealt with
and only the fourth one in this list should
be considered healthy. These are:
1. Muzzle it - Bury anger deep-down and
it will go away is the attitude! This doesn't
work for many children as anger just simmers
and doesn't dissipate.
2. Muscle it - Some children lash out physically
so that a friend, sibling or parent literally
feels their anger.
3. Mouth it - Verbal abuse is usually hurtful
and backfires on the angry person.
4. Manage it - Anger can be expressed in
ways that are not hurtful to anyone including
themselves.
The following five steps can form the basis
of an anger management program for children
and teenagers:
1. Recognize it: The first step is to help
children recognize when they get angry.
What are the physical signs? What are they
thinking? We are all different but tension,
heavy breathing and clenched teeth are common
reactions.
2. Name it: Develop a vocabulary with your
child around anger. "Mad as a snake",
"about to lose it", "short
fuse" are some possibilities. Children
can probably generate more! Giving the emotion
a name is the first step to recognizing
anger.
3. Choose it: Help children recognize that
they have a choice to stay in control or
lose control when they get angry.
4. Say it: Encouraging children to express
how they feel verbally is healthy. Yelling
at someone when they are angry is not. The
use of I statements is one way of letting
others know how they feel. 'I feel really
mad when you say nasty things to me. I feel
like …' is one way of being heard and
letting the anger out.
5. Let it(out): Help children find a legitimate
physical outlet for their anger. They may
go for a run, belt a pillow or play a physical
game to let their frustration out. They
may even pour their anger into a letter,
some work or a productive activity.
The maxim for managing anger in healthy
ways should be: "There is nothing so
bad that we can't talk about it. However
there are behaviors that we don't engage
in when we are angry."
Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator
and parent coach. He is the director of
Parentinginc, the author of seven books
for parents and a popular presenter who
speaks to audiences in Australian Singapore
and the USA. For free courses and resources
to help you raise happy kids and resilient
teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Grose
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